As many family caregivers will tell you, caring for an aging loved one is a privilege, not a burden. But it can be exhausting.

Love, gratitude and a deep sense of responsibility motivate spouses and adult children who step into caregiving roles for family members living with dementia, mobility challenges or complex health conditions. They want to be there. They want to help. But too often, they push themselves far beyond what is sustainable, because the demands of caregiving can continue 24/7.

Rachel O’Brien, Community Liaison for the Fort Worth office of Cambridge Caregivers, witnesses the emotional and physical toll of family caregiving every day.

“For example, I had a new client who called about her husband who was on hospice,” she said. “She was worn out, but she was still in that go-go-go mode — doing a hundred things at once.”

When Rachel visited the couple’s home to evaluate the husband’s needs, something unexpected happened.

“All of a sudden, the wife started talking to me in Spanish,” Rachel said. “She didn’t even realize she was doing it.”

It turned out that the woman had grown up in South America. Her parents had been missionaries, and she was fluent in Spanish. Under extreme fatigue and stress, her brain reverted to a language she had not regularly spoken in decades.

“As I learned while in graduate school in gerontology, people who are aging and/or very stressed may revert back to their native language,” Rachel said. “That’s what was happening to her. She was so fatigued and burned out that she was speaking in Spanish and didn’t even realize it.”

A few days later, when services were scheduled to begin, a nurse visited the new client to conduct an assessment, required for the husband’s long-term care insurance policy. But when the nurse arrived, she found the wife on the floor, collapsed.

“Our nurse had to call 911,” Rachel said. “The wife was hospitalized for about five days. It came down to sheer exhaustion – she’d kept going like the Energizer Bunny until her battery was completely drained.”

Only after her hospitalization did the woman agree to daily caregiving support.

“She finally realized, ‘OK, I can’t do this by myself,’” Rachel said.

Her story underscores a truth that many families may struggle to comprehend: It is just as important to care for the primary family caregiver as it is to care for the loved one who needs help.

“Caregiver fatigue is not some made-up term,” Rachel said. “It is real. I’ve seen it firsthand. You can’t be good to your loved one if you are not good to yourself.”

Everyday caregiving is far more demanding that many families realize.

A loved one with dementia may wake during the night and wander, putting their own safety at risk and robbing the caregiver of consistent sleep. A senior with mobility challenges may need help physical assistance with bedside transfers, feeding or bathing — tasks that are physically taxing and potentially unsafe without trained support.

In the case Rachel described, the husband was bedbound and had a G-tube (feeding tube.)

“The wife was worrying constantly, changing him, feeding him through the G-tube and trying to maintain her own life,” Rachel said. “She didn’t know how to do all of that, and it was overwhelming.”

Even when families have financial resources or insurance coverage to pay for in-home care, they may delay asking for help.

“I see this all the time, too,” Rachel said. “The family puts off activating their long-term care policy because they think, ‘What if I need it more later?’ And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen those policies go unused because the family didn’t activate them soon enough.”

Waiting too long to enlist help can take a serious toll — emotionally, physically and mentally — on family caregivers who are already stretched thin.

This is where compassionate, professional in-home care can make all the difference. Cambridge Caregivers offers personalized support designed to protect the well-being of both the client and the family caregiver. Services can include:

• Respite care to allow caregivers time to rest and recharge
• Assistance with transfers, bathing, dressing, and activities of daily living
• Meal preparation and light housekeeping
• Regular ongoing care for families who need continuity and peace of mind

“Sometimes people feel guilty about taking time for themselves,” Rachel said. “But even if it’s sitting in your car, or strolling the aisles of the grocery store, or going to a movie — whatever it takes to turn it off for a little while — you have to allow yourself that time.”

Seeking support does not mean stepping away from a loved one. It means strengthening the caregiving team, so no one is carrying the full weight alone.

For families looking for additional guidance, The Manchester Living Podcast recently explored this very topic in Episode 41: Strategies for Support and Self-Care. In this Episode, host Brian Levy discusses practical strategies for caregiver support, emphasizing the importance of education, self-care, and effective communication. Special guests Namirah Jamshed, MD, and Kayla Clark, LCSW, share professional insights to help family caregivers feel more supported and less alone.