Handling the Holidays with Compassion and Confidence
Handling the Holidays with Compassion and Confidence
Insights from Memory Care Expert Lilly Adrian
The holiday season is a joyful time—but for families caring for a loved one living with dementia, it can also bring new layers of stress. Schedules change. Visitors come and go. Decorations fill familiar rooms. The pace quickens, and daily routines that usually bring comfort may be disrupted.
At Cambridge Caregivers, we understand how challenging the holidays can be—not only for older adults, but also for their caregivers and families. That’s why we invest heavily in ongoing education and paid training for our caregiving staff.
Recently, the Dallas office hosted a workshop led by memory care expert Lilly Adrian. Her presentation, “Handling the Holidays as Professionals,” equipped our caregivers with practical tools to support clients and families during this busy season. While the workshop was designed for trained professionals, many of Lilly’s insights can help family caregivers, too.
Below are highlights from her session. We hope they bring a bit more calm, connection, and joy to your holiday season.
“A New Kind of ‘Normal’”
“The holidays tend to be complicated,” Lilly reminded caregivers at the start of the workshop. When a loved one is living with dementia, that complexity intensifies. Changing schedules, unfamiliar guests, and the general hustle and bustle can heighten anxiety, confusion, or agitation.
“People living with dementia often feel fearful or unsure of their surroundings on a typical day,” she said. “It’s understandable that the liveliness of the holidays can be extra taxing.”
Families may also experience mixed emotions: joy at being together, grief for traditions that have changed, and fatigue from the additional demands of the season.
One of Lilly’s core messages: the holidays can still be meaningful, but they may look different now. And that’s okay.
Tip #1: Adjust Expectations
“By adjusting your expectations and modifying some traditions, you may find more meaningful ways to celebrate,” Lilly explained.
For families, this might mean:
- Choosing earlier, shorter gatherings
- Focusing on one or two simple traditions
- Letting go of activities that cause stress or overstimulation
Maintaining rituals helps preserve family identity. For someone with memory loss, familiar elements can be deeply reassuring. But celebrations should always prioritize the senior loved one’s needs.
Tip #2: Prepare Out-of-Town Guests
Holiday gatherings often bring together relatives who haven’t seen their loved one in months or even years. Be honest and proactive.
“If this is the first visit since the senior began experiencing cognitive challenges, prepare family members for what to expect,” Lilly said. “Explain the changes.”
Gently let guests know that the person may not recognize them, may repeat questions, may need help with eating, or may tire more quickly.
Remind relatives that if the loved one seems rude or inappropriate, those responses are rooted in brain change—not intentional behavior.
Tip #3: Prepare Your Loved One, Too
In the week leading up to a gathering, begin easing your loved one into the idea of upcoming visitors or celebrations. Lilly suggested:
- Sharing photo albums of expected guests
- Looking at pictures from past holidays
- Talking gently about upcoming plans
- Playing familiar seasonal music
Sensory cues from the past can spark warmth and connection. Still, Lilly emphasized keeping routine the top priority.
“During the holiday hustle, do everything possible to maintain the person’s daily rhythm,” she said. Fatigue, overstimulation, and sudden changes can quickly overwhelm someone with dementia.
Tip #4: Create Safe, Calm Spaces
Holiday décor can delight some but confuse others. Blinking lights, moving decorations, or major room rearrangements can be distressing. For example, if Dad’s favorite recliner is moved to make room for the tree, he may become upset or disoriented.
Lilly’s recommendations:
- Avoid clutter or overcrowding
- Skip blinking or flashing lights
- Keep walkways clear
- Maintain the most familiar furniture layout
Tip #5: Let Feelings Guide the Day
At Cambridge, caregivers are trained to follow the client’s lead, especially during busy seasons.
“Let your senior loved one’s needs guide your daily schedule,” Lilly taught. “Focus on how they feel, not on completing every holiday activity.”
If wrapping gifts is overwhelming, skip it. If looking at old photo albums brings comfort, linger there. If a loved one prefers a quiet corner instead of the crowd, meet them with compassion.
Sometimes the most meaningful holiday moments are the quiet ones.
Tip #6: Encourage Family Self-Care—Without Guilt
Caregiving doesn’t pause for the holidays. In fact, it often becomes more stressful. Lilly urged caregivers to support families in giving themselves permission to take breaks, especially when a loved one lives in a community or receives professional in-home care.
A short visit may feel heartless—but a longer visit might actually exhaust the senior or disrupt their routine.
“One of the greatest gifts families can give themselves is the gift of no guilt,” she said.
Encourage:
- Rest
- Support groups
- Quiet time with other family members
- Delegating holiday tasks
Letting go of guilt doesn’t mean letting go of love.
Supporting Families Is What We Do
Lilly’s workshop is just one example of the training Cambridge Caregivers provides year-round to ensure our team remains skilled, knowledgeable, and compassionate—especially during demanding seasons like the holidays.
As Lilly concluded, “The holidays may be different now, but they can still be joyful. Stay flexible. Stay tuned in. Embrace the quiet, peaceful moments. Those are what the holidays are really about.”
At Cambridge Caregivers, we are proud to help families find those moments—one warm, thoughtful interaction at a time.